Overheard

Now that I am taking a nutritional supplement specifically designed to help with tinnitus, I am finding my improved hearing to be a mixed blessing.  Please don’t tell my family I can hear better.  I am finding it advantageous to feign a deaf ear sometimes.  I learned this from my children.

Here are a few things I have overheard recently:

One child calling me back to talk as I’m getting ready to go out the door with the other child, is told, “Please don’t piss her off right before I have to hang out with her.”

On noticing the misspelling in the headline for a Casey James music video, Polk Salad Annie:  “Anyone who knows about wild greens from the south knows what POKE SALAD is.  I wonder if they spelled it POLK because it has to do with music and they’re getting confused with a polka.”

In response to a question from a friend on Skype, who I had no idea could hear me, “My mother.  Her humor is inappropriate.”

This was kind of a double overhearing event, occurring after I had stood outside the bathroom door (next to child’s closed door), asking the person doing personal care not bathroom-related to hurry up, then doing a schtick inspired by a scene we had just seen in the movie Bridesmaids, “I’ll just go pee in the sink,” “on your red rug” (where the pup used to have accidents), etc., which I had thought was humorous and designed to motivate the person to clear out as they were going to get no peace until then.

Not only did it not work, said child having a snappy comeback for every threat, I am now wondering who of my other child’s friends knows I make bathroom jokes and will I have trouble enforcing standards of behavior if the friend visits our home.  Or will I have trouble pretending we have standards.  Damn it all!  Oops, did I say that out loud?

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May 4, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. 7 comments.

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